VM Ranked - S1E21

Get ready for a lot of fast-paced action and reveals. In this episode, Veronica is on the trail of her rapist.

Characters: (+4)

• Logan
• Dick
• Beaver
• Aaron

Guest Stars (+4)

These aren’t all “stars” but they’re returning one-off characters and I love that they’re all back for the first half of our finale.

• Leighton Meester as Carrie Bishop. (Note: why do the girls always get called by both names? Veronica Mars. Shelly Pomroy. Carrie Bishop. No one calls the dudes by their full names.)
• Jonathon Bennet as Casey
• Sam Huntington as Luke
• Kevin Sheridan as Sean

Story/Plot: 10/10

For this episode and the next, I’m combining these two categories because it’s really impossible to separate them.

We open in Cuba, where Keith has located Duncan by tracking his stolen passport and surprises him at breakfast by sitting at his table, grinning at him as he puts down his newspaper. Pure Keith. Duncan’s time on the lam is at an end. (Celeste’s first words to her son: You have no IDEA what the past few weeks have been like. Geez sorry his trauma is so hard on you, Celeste.) Celeste tries to weasel out of paying Keith the reward money, claiming that it was part of the deal she made with Veronica: finding Duncan in exchange for Celeste not pressing charges against Weevil.

Alicia is pissed about Veronica involving Wallace in her illegal shenanigans, and chews Keith out. Keith defends Veronica, but also tells her later that maybe she should stop working for him. They have a little who-loves-each-other-more competition. Veronica apologizes to Wallace for getting him in trouble, but he tells her he knew she was up to something and could’ve said no. He also points out that he never asks her why she does things, because he knows she wouldn’t tell him. Veronica says she’d “do the same” for him but I don’t think that Wallace meant it as a positive thing.

Logan tries to talk to Veronica at school and Weevil stops him, provoking a fight that’s broken up by the P.E-cum-computer teacher (reappearance #1). He shows up at her apartment later and she tells him about the GHB and the rape, and vows that she will take down her rapist, even if it’s him.

Veronica starts her investigation by asking Meg what she remembers about that night. Meg is nice and doesn’t want to say, but finally admits she saw guys doing body shots off of a very drunk-looking Veronica. She wanted to go help her, but her boyfriend at the time, Cole (reappearance #2) stalled, and then they saw someone else swooping in to take Veronica away and figured she was safe. Meg doesn’t know who it was, but advises Veronica to forget the whole thing. It was one night of being drunk and stupid; she can’t beat herself up over it.

Next she goes to our favorite baseball bro, Luke (reappearance #3). He’s the one who was smuggling steroids across the border and Veronica saved him from getting his ass kicked. He was one of the ones that Logan said went with him to score the GHB, and Veronica asks him what he did with it. Luke says he gave it to Dick Casablancas, who’d been complaining his girlfriend, Madison Sinclair, was being uptight. Luke gave Dick two doses and assumed that Dick and Madison took them together, but later that night saw Madison in a rage, writing SLUT on Veronica’s car while ranting about “stringy-haired white trash.”

Veronica goes to Madison and asks her why she vandalized Veronica’s car. (Madison is a brunette in this scene and looks so different that the first time I watched the show I didn’t even realize she was someone we’d seen in multiple episodes.) Madison’s version of the story has Veronica throwing herself at Dick, while singing “Touch Myself” by the Divinlys, before moving on to Casey (of the Mooncalf Collective, reappearance #4). Madison scoffs at Veronica’s claim to have been drugged.

Veronica goes to Casey next. There’s a really awkward cut in this scene that bothers me every time:

Veronica: Did I hit on you at Shelly’s party?
Casey: No.
Veronica: Did it get ugly at Shelly’s? Casey: Oh, yeah.

The way Veronica says “did it get ugly at Shelley’s” makes it clear that there was some line preceding it about things getting ugly; it’s an unmistakeable follow-up question. And if there wasn’t a line in between, she wouldn’t have had to repeat Shelly’s name. WHAT IS THE MISSING LINE?? I need to know.

Casey’s version of the party has Dick groping a drunk Veronica, who’s trying weakly to resist, while he’s singing “Touch Myself.” Dick kisses her and pushes her over to Casey, who claims, in gentlemanly fashion, “No, thanks, I like mine to be able to stay up under their own power.” Furthermore, Dick and Sean (the butler’s son, reappearance #5) were feeding Veronica shots and trying to get her to make out with Shelly Pomroy.

So Veronica goes next to Sean, and things start to get really vile. Sean tells her that she should be talking to Dick. He’s the one who carried her into a bedroom and dumped her there, unconscious, so that Beaver could have sex with her. Beaver seems grossed out by this idea but not enough to leave or call the police or anything. He just tells the others to leave. In Sean’s version, Dick throws a condom on the bed and says, “Make sure you suit up. You don’t know where she’s been.”

Veronica is pissed now. She takes Dick’s precious new surfboard and puts it right in front of the Le Baron’s front tire, revving her engine and threatening to destroy it unless Dick answers her questions about the party. Dick lies and says he found her in the bedroom with Beaver, and not to blame him that she got “all wasted and slutty.” She destroys his surfboard.

Finally she tracks down Beaver. His versions matches Sean’s, except that Sean was the one who said the gross “suit up” line. He swears he didn’t touch Veronica. Instead, he left her there and ran outside to puke on Carrie Bishop’s (reappearance #5) shoes.

She goes to Wallace’s house and finally tells him everything — not just about her rape, but about her Lilly Kane murder investigation. She also apologizes to Alicia, and asks Alicia not to give up on Keith. Alicia worries she may have screwed things up. Keith has gone to Vegas, claiming to be chasing an entertainment lawyer, but we see him making an appointment with an escort. He’s not cheating on Alicia though — this escort, Cheyenne, was with Abel Koontz at the time of Lilly’s murder, and Keith needs her to come forward.

Aaron Echolls is still on his Cool Dad bullshit and cheerfully tells Logan that he’s making crab cakes. Logan reminds him that he’s allergic to shellfish. They get into an argument over whether Aaron knows anything at all about Logan, and Aaron doesn’t come off well, not even able to name what month Logan was born.

As the last stop on her apology tour, Veronica tells Logan she’s sorry she accused him of drugging and raping her. She explains that it was actually Duncan, and it was consensual (I mean… not technically).

They go to Logan’s house, and discover that Aaron has planned a surprise birthday party for Logan, to make up for missing all his birthdays, I guess. All of Logan’s friends are there, gobsmacked to see him with Veronica. Dick makes a gross comment, and Logan tells him to get the fuck out, and extends the invitation to anyone who has a problem with his GIRLFRIEND, VERONICA. The only one who accepts it is Duncan, who storms out, looking murderous. Oh, get the fuck over yourself, Duncan. He doesn’t even acknowledge Meg, who’s standing at his arm asking if he’s okay.

Madison suddenly acts like she never hated Veronica, and offers her something to drink. Meg advises Veronica not to drink it. “She gave you a trip to the dentist,” Meg says, explaining that this is what Madison calls it when she spits in a drink and then gives it to someone she doesn’t like.

Meanwhile, Duncan is outside going apeshit on his car because he couldn’t get the door unlocked. He’s screaming and beating his car with a shovel. Meg runs out, and as Duncan is absolute shrieking like a madman, Meg shouts THIS IS ABOUT VERONICA ISN’T IT. Dude, call an ambulance or something. This is not normal. You can be mad about his ex-girlfriend later.

I do love Protector Logan, but I think she’s really letting him skate on the whole “doing body shots off a borderline-unconscious person” part of events. He seems sorry that he drugged Duncan, but only because of what it lead to, and he doesn’t seem too concerned with all his other dickish behavior. But, eh, he’s seventeen. Total self-awareness is probably too big an ask.

And just because Veronica hasn’t been through enough today, who does she find when she gets home but Leanne Mars, who checked herself out of rehab

Iconic Lines (+3)

• Logan: You do not want to start with me today, Paco.
  Weevil: Are you sure? It was in my day planner under ‘goals’.
• Veronica, obsessively cleaning her locker: Ugh! This is why I have to keep my walkie-talkies in my car: muck.
  Wallace: Really? The dirt? See, I find I hardly need my walkie-talkies at school at all. But that’s me.
  Remember this line for later!
• Aaron: I’m trying. Does that count for anything? Logan: *Sure. You’re accumulating points. You’ve almost got the wet vac.”

Cringe (-1)

• Luke to Dick: Please, you have like the hottest girlfriend ever.
  Dick: Much like fake boobs, you know? Great to look at but they don’t do as much as you’d like ‘em to.

Song of the Episode

Touch Myself, by the Divinyls.

Outfit of the Episode

I thought the denim jacket with gathered sleeves was bad, but then Veronica topped it by wearing a tweed blazer with gathered sleeves.

Anachronism of the Episode

Also Touch Myself, by the Divinyls. While it’s not impossible that it would have been playing at a high school party in the year 2004, the song came out in 1990. I was a junior in 1994, so that’s like a song from 1980 playing at one of our parties, and I can guarantee you that didn’t happen.