We're halfway through season one, and here's where the rankings stand:

Rankings So Far

1. Pilot: 18.5

2. Episode 10, An Echolls Family Christmas: 17

3. (tie) Episode 4, Wrath of Con and Episode 6, Return of the Kane: 16

4. Episode 8, Like a Virgin: 15.5

5. (tie) Episode 7, The Girl Next Door and Episode 9, Drinking the Kool-Aid: 15

6. Episode 11, Silence of the Lamb: 13

7. Episode 5, You Think You Know Someone: 8

8. Episode 3, Meet John Smith: 7

9. Episode 2, Credit Where Credit is Due: 6

   
   

As I mentioned back in the Drinking the Kool-Aid post, The Girl Next Door originally scored a 17, but on reflection, I decided that was too high. It's no An Echolls Family Christmas, I can tell you that.

Otherwise, I like the way this shook out. When I made up my ranking system, I must have done a good job of determining what makes me like an episode. If you were to ask me, before I started this process, to pick my top three episodes, this is what you’d have gotten (though I’d have put Wrath of Con ahead of Return of the Kane). Similarly, if you asked me for my bottom three… you’d get the three that Troy was in. (I love how the rankings drop off a cliff for those episodes. I sure do hate Troy!)

The Troy Effect

But what if Troy hadn’t been in those episodes? How bad were they if you remove his negative influence? I decided to find out.

Troy’s very presence resulted in an automatic 1-point penalty; but he was also responsible for the most cringe lines so far this season.

Troy-Corrected Scores

• Episode 2, Credit Where Credit is Due: 11 (still a stinker)

• Episode 3, Meet John Smith: 13 (respectable, tied with Silence of the Lamb)

• Episode 4, Wrath of Con: 18 (without Troy, this episode would have come within half a point of the top spot)

• Episode 5, You Think You Know Someone: 11 (still bad)

  
  

Interestingly, the episodes that are more Troy-centric—when he’s introduced and dismissed—still score the lowest. I can’t compensate for the poor plot quality of anything to do with Troy.

Cringe Count

Speaking of Troy-related cringe, who else put cringe marks on the board? Is Troy really the King of Cringe?

Yes, by a mile. Not a single other person earned more than one cringe point. Troy earned 12 single-handedly.

Other offenders included Paris Hilton, Wanda Varner, Logan, Leo, Duncan, and that movie star bro in the Christmas episode.

Icons

Who is the most iconic icon? Unsurprisingly, it’s Veronica, with a stellar 12 iconic lines so far this season. Think about that—she’s as iconic as Troy is cringey, and we’re only halfway through the season.

Coming in second with 9 points is Logan, followed by Keith at 7 and Weevil at 6. Lilly scored a respectable 4 points (considering she’s dead). Cliff, Wallace, and Rain each scored one iconic line.

Other Superlatives

The best outfit of all time obviously goes to the "japanimated" outfit from Wrath of Con, but it’s hardly fair to include that in the competition. Barring that Fashion Moment, what’s the Outfit of the First Half of Season One?

It’s gotta be the ridiculous hat/sweatervest/miniskirt combo from Credit Where Credit is Due. Not only is it absurd in itself, but it’s also the outfit in which Veronica told Sheriff Lamb, “Smell ya later.”

What about the most anachronistic moment? I’m awarding it to the Sassy magazine reference in Credit Where Credit is Due. It’s a very specific reference from a narrow 8-year timeframe, and it wasn’t even the most popular teen girl magazine of its era. If Lilly had been born a decade earlier, she absolutely would have been a Sassy reader, but it’s a glaring oversight to have her reading it seven years after it went out of print.

Corrections Corner

1. Apologies to my daughter for "flaming" her for not recognizing the Beatles’ Birthday.

2. Another apology to my daughter for doubting that Gen Z is familiar with The Outsiders. Her cousin confirmed they do still come across that book in school.

3. My daughter’s favorite line of the entire show did not make it to “iconic line” status. It’s an exchange in Episode 8, Like a Virgin:
   

   Wallace: Why are you holding your arms like that? Veronica: So that someday in your memoir, you’ll describe me as 'inscrutable.'

   
   

If this line had been counted, Episode 8 would have been bumped into third place. However, I stand by my decision—Like a Virgin is not a better episode than Wrath of Con.

Here Comes the Second Half

I’m looking forward to the second half of season one. Will anything knock the pilot out of the top spot? (One contender springs to mind…) What majestic guest stars are waiting in the wings? And most important of all, who killed Lilly Kane?