Finally, I’ve caught up with moving my Veronica Mars recaps over here, which means it’s time for the results—what is the best Veronica Mars episode of season one (and therefore, most likely, of all time)?

Before we get to that, though, let’s pretend this is the Oscars and dole out some lesser awards first. But before we get to that, I made you something! It's a Veronica Mars, Ranked spotify playlist! All the songs of the all the episodes*, plus some honorable mentions.

*For some reason, Momentary Thing isn't on Spotify currently.

Song of the Season goes to...

La Femme d’Argent, otherwise known as “Veronica’s Sleuthing Music,” by Air.

This is the music that, when you hear it, conjures Veronica before your very eyes.

Runners up:

Private Eyes, by Hall & Oates, and A Momentary Thing, by Something Happens. Two of the most unforgettable scenes in season one: Vinnie Van Lowe singing out of a second story window while slapping his ass, and Veronica and Logan having their first kiss after he decked Jump Street for her.

Daryl Hall & John Oates - Private Eyes (

Outfit of the Season goes to...

The army cap and striped vest from Credit Where Credit’s Due!

This outfit really encapsulates the concept behind Veronica's wardrobe: naive, 09er Veronica's pink layered with punk Veronica's army green and dark jewelry. And it's the most awkward juxtaposition of the two we see all season, which makes it funny.

Runners up:

The “japanimated” outfit from The Wrath of Con, and the green polo under argyle vest from Weapons of Class Destruction.

Anachronism of the Season goes to…

Forever, by Judy Blume

This was such an in-character choice for Mandy, the dweeby dog girl.

Runners up:

Sassy Magazine and Brigadoon. Lilly definitely would have read Sassy if it had been published during her lifetime, and Brigadoon is only one of the many hits that Logan is a secret lover of old musical theater.

Cringiest episode goes to….

Meet John Smith, which lost 7 points to cringe lines!

Runners up:

Credit Where Credit’s Due (also a Troy episode) and M.A.D. (no Troy, but revenge porn and weaponized homophobia made up for it) at negative six points each.

Most Iconic Episode goes to…

Hot Dogs, with a record 9 iconic lines!

Runners up:

Echolls Family Christmas and Leave it to Beaver with 7 iconic lines each.

And now the moment you’ve been waiting for:

Episode Rankings

Last place: episode 2, Credit Where Credit’s Due (6 points)

Tanked by the existence of Troy

21st place: episode 3, Meet John Smith (7 points)

Troy again

20th place: episode 20, M.A.D. (8 points)

revenge porn and weaponized homophobia

19th place: episode 5, You Think You Know Someone (9 points)

Troy

18th place: episode 16, Betty and Veronica (10 points)

confusing and boring episode plot, plus some continuity problems

17th place: episode 13, Lord of the Bling (12)

mediocre episode plot, plus no movement on the season mystery

16th place: episode 11, Silence of the Lamb (13)

also not moving the main plot forward, plus Mac’s family never comes up again

15th place: episode 14, Mars vs Mars (14)

now we’re starting to get into the solid, middle-of-the-road episodes. Nothing wrong with it, but nothing oustanding about it either.

14th place (tie): episode 9, Drinking the Kool-Aid and episode 12, Clash of the Tritons (15)

enjoyable episodes, but lacking many of the best characters

12th place (tie): episode 4, Wrath of the Con; episode 8, Like a Virgin; and episode 19, Hot Dogs (16)

great episodes!

9th place (tie): episode 6, Return of the Kane; episode 7, The Girl Next Door; episode 10, An Echolls Family Christmas; and episode 15, Ruskie Business (17)

more great episodes. I’m a little surprised that Return of the Kane and Ruskie Business beat The Wrath of Con, but then I remembered that FUCKING TROY was still around for that episode and cost it a point.

5th place: episode 1, Pilot (18)

the season started out SO strong, hard to believe that there were four better episodes than the pilot

4th place: episode 17, Kanes and Abels (19)

Vinnie Van Lowe!!!

3rd place: episode 21, A Trip to the Dentist (20)

the rapid-fire callbacks to both the pilot and several mysteries-of-the-week bumped this one up

2nd place: episode 22, Leave it to Beaver (21)

like the pilot, the season finale was nonstop story, answering so many questions: who killed Lilly? Is Duncan Veronica’s brother? Is Veronica’s mom the worst person on earth? Is Logan the saddest boy who ever lived? But it also gave us one question to sit with over the summer: who’s at the door?

And now, the Best Episode of the Season goes to….

Episode 18, Weapons of Class Destruction (22)

As great as the ultimate and penultimate episodes of the season are, NOTHING BEATS JONATHON TAYLOR THOMAS. Oh, and Logan and Veronica’s first kiss.

There you have it, folks: the definitive rankings of Veronica Mars’s first season. We made it. Now I can start on season two. Will there be an episode that can beat a 22? Will there even be an episode that cracks the top ten? We shall see.