Veronica joins a cult.

1.9 Drinking the Kool-Aid

Score: 15

Correction Corner:I was doing a little mid-season review (which I’ll post after episode 11) and discovered that The Girl Next Door was in second place, outscoring every episode so far except for the pilot, and that doesn’t sit right with me. It got there on the strength of its B-plot (Logan and Weevil spiking Mr. Detention’s car on the flag pole) and because it didn’t get any negative cringe points. But the A-plot is bland, and when all is said and done, it is not one of my favorite episodes. I guess I have to finesse the results or else change my rating system.

While I’m thinking that over, I’m knocking The Girl Next Door down two points for the poor A-plot. In retrospect, I was overly generous giving it a 5/5 on story.

On to today’s episode!

Characters: +1

• Backup (+1)

  
  

Guest stars: +2

• Jonathan Bennet (+1)

• Chris William Martin (+1)

Story quality: 4/5

Asshole 09er Casey Gant—played by Jonathan Bennet, better known as Aaron Samuels from Mean Girls—has been brainwashed by a cult. At least, that's what his parents think. They're really concerned because he's going to inherit his grandmother's fortune, and they're going to be cut off. They have to un-brainwash him before he gives all their millions away to the cult. Against Keith's instructions, Veronica infiltrates the cult and discovers they're just a bunch of well-meaning counter-culturalists, growing pointsettias to support themselves. She and Keith have to decide whether to take them down or not.

The "cult" leader, Josh, is played by Chris William Martin, a guest star no one but me will care about. He played Dylan Blackwell in Fifteen, a Canadian teen soap of the 90s.

Plot relevance: 4/5

The realization that if Jake Kane is her father, Duncan is her brother, hits Veronica a little late, and she has to pull over to vomit. But after that, she's all business. She assumes that the surveillance photos she found in the safe deposit box must have been sent by Jake Kane, as a way of "sticking it" to Keith. She tracks down the photographer, who turns out to be Clarence Whedman, head of Kane security. She also tricks Keith into taking a DNA test. But when the results come back, she shreds them without opening them.

Iconic lines/memes: +4

• "A collision at home? Did you fall in the garbage disposal?!" (About Enrico Colantoni's black eye, which he got playing ice hockey—it had to be written into the episode.)

• "He's just another slice off the loaf of shallow, vapid, pain-in-the-ass 09er-dom."

• "Hackey-sack: the final arena of unquestioned white domination."

• "You might say it's the ULTIMATE cash crop." (Just say it's poinsettias, Rain.)

  
  

Cringe: 0

Amazing how much less cringe there is now that Troy's gone, isn't it?

Outfit of the episode:

Puffer vest with a (fake) fur collar.

As Veronica herself says, "Fake fur is a poor choice to infiltrate utopia." The vest will make a return in a later episode when Veronica tries to infiltrate an animal rights club. Such poor sartorial judgment! But Josh's ugly shirt really gives it a run for its money.

Song of the episode:

"When the Angels Sing" by Social Distortion. Weevil tries to pass the lyrics of this song off as his own original poetry. It's from the 1994 album White Light, White Heat, White Trash. It's not one of their better-known songs.

This could qualify as an anachronistic reference, but we'll let it pass. There's a small chance both Weevil and Casey Gant would be familiar with the album, I guess... even enough for Casey to immediately recognize the lyrics. (Also, Casey pointing this out to the teacher does not really make him an asshole. It's not like he was laughing at Weevil's actual inner pain.)

Anachronistic reference of the episode:

Face on the milk carton. In the 1970s and 80s, photos of missing children were printed on the sides of milk cartons. I remember these from when I was little, but by the time I was in high school, they were already obsolete. There's no way the Marses would have a milk carton with Rain's face on it.

So long, Dylan. It was great to see you again, and always remember, Teenagers in Love is not a bad name for a band.

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