Jessica Chastain plays a missing neighbor and Veronica learns that her mom and Duncan's dad were king and queen of the prom!!!

1.7 The Girl Next Door

Score: 17

Characters: 2

• Logan (+1)

• Lilly (+1)

  
  

Guest stars: 2

• Jessica Chastain (+1)

• Parker from Buffy (+1)

  
  

Story quality: 5/5

Jessica Chastain, like Jane Lynch in the previous episode, was pre-fame when she starred in this episode--it's only her second IMDB credit. She's playing the titular girl next door (actually upstairs), a young pregnant woman whom Veronica befriends. When she disappears, Veronica immediately suspects that her artist boyfriend, Andre (Adam Kaufman, better known as Parker from season 4 of Buffy), is responsible. After harassing him for a while, getting Sarah's parents to hire Keith, and calling in the PCHers to trash an upscale clothing store, Veronica figures out that Jessica Chastain is still alive and has just — exactly as Parker from Buffy told her — freaked out and run away. V hauls her back home where she has to face her mother and her rapist step-father. Hearing the altercation upstairs, Keith runs to the rescue and ends up shooting (not fatally) Rapist Stepdad.

It's a meh plot, but this episode is made great by its subplot: Logan and Weevil bond while in detention, and pull off an epic prank on their English teacher, somehow spearing his car on the flagpole. Weevil is expelled over it, while Logan gets off scot free. Even Logan recognizes this is bullshit, and is pricked by his conscience. But rather than also get himself expelled, he basically bribes Vice Principal Clemmons into letting them both off the hook. Seems the school is running an auction to try to pay for a new scoreboard, and Clemmons sure would like some boots that Aaron Echolls wore in his movie Hair Trigger to put in the auction. Logan's performance of wounded pride at Weevil "getting all the credit" for the prank of the century is very camp, and the ostentatious way he kicks his feet up on van Clemmons' desk, wearing the boots, is a delightful coup de gras.

Plot relevance: 4/5

It just so happens to be the 25th reunion of Lianne's graduating class. Veronica is tasked with helping the organizer choose photos to put on display, and in the process of flipping through the yearbook, learn that her mother and Jake Kane were king and queen of the prom. The reunion organizer confirms that Lianne and Jake were THE couple, and everyone was shocked that they didn't end up together. This is the first Veronica has heard about any of that. We get flashbacks related to her abrupt and mysterious breakup with Duncan. Lilly knew the reason Duncan dumped Veronica, but didn't want to tell her. At the very last moment, Veronica realizes that maybe all of this adds up to her being Jake Kane's daughter, not Keith's.

We also get some confirmation of the rumored connection between Weevil and Lilly from last week: Weevil has the name "Lilly" tattooed on his arm. When Logan sees it and demands to know why Weevil has it, Weevil claims that Lilly is his little sister's name. Seems unlike there'd be TWO Lillys who spell their name with an extra L, but stranger things have happened.

Iconic lines/memes: 4

• Not the ones made for walking? I love those boots. (+1)

• Would you describe this sound as Hitchcockian? (+1)

• Never. Underestimate. The size of my cojones. This one gets an extra point--it's like Logan's motto. (+2)

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Cringe: n/a

No cringe this episode!

Outfit of the episode:

This is a group prize for Veronica's blazers of the episode: fuschia suede (or maybe velveteen?), aqua blue denim, brown cordoroy. Why does she own so many blazers?

Song of the episode:

La Femme d'argent by Air. I could swear this song plays through the season—I always think of it as “Veronica’s investigation music” but I’ve so far failed to actually locate it in any other episode. I’ve got my ears peeled, though.

Anachronistic reference of the episode:

Sid and Nancy. Sarah's coworker says that she and Andre fought on the phone "like Sid and Nancy." Sid Vicious (of Sex Pistols fame) and his girlfriend Nancy died in 1979 and 1978, respectively. The eponymous movie that detailed their toxic, drug-addled love affair came out 1986. While the coworker does look like he's a few years older than Veronica--maybe in his early twenties--he's not exactly in the Sex Pistols time frame (nor does he look like a Sex Pistols fan, but I don’t judge a book by it’s cover).

However, I'm willing to grant that Sid and Nancy may be famous enough to still have been a shorthand for toxic relationships in 2004, so it gets a pass, sort of.

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